Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dont even know how to be here
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
