Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
