It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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