New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
