Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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