apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
