i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
