I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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