it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
