Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
