I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
