the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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