She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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