I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
