my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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