I am puke
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
