dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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