Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
