I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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