Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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