Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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