My hand turned me down
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
