Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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