i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
