Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
