I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
