you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
