You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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