is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
