i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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