you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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