that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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