To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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