I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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