I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
