I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
