One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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