Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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