he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
