come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
