Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
