WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
