can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
