So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
