If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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