we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
