At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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