Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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