I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
