Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
