I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
