he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
