Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
