oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
