i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
only you would photoshop your dick
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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