I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
